Narcissistic Abuser as Slanderer
On their way through life, narcissists leave a trail of trashed good names in their wake.
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Narcissistic Abuser as Slanderer
On their way through life, narcissists leave a trail of trashed good names in their wake.
Read article Click Here
Abusers can be masters of disguise and covert operations. He or She hones their skills to expert precision, lest people see through the mask to the ruthless ambition and envy beneath.
Above all, the abuser seeks to keep that mask firmly in place so as not to lose the support of those who’ve been fooled by the outer facade.
This list of characteristics describes abusers and gives an awareness of the techniques used by * Chameleons * who may be male or female.
1. Charming in public – exuding warmth and charm, an abuser smiles and tells jokes, praises and flatters you, outwardly supports you with a show of approval and reassurance, makes you feel valuable and appears to be attentive to your needs.
2. Rumor-monger in private – criticizing you behind your back, he may suggest that you have personal or emotional problems, carefully building a case against you via calculated misinformation passed on to others behind the scenes. He manipulates others into criticizing you and then rewards them for their participation in his plot to undermine your image in every way.
3. Two-faced – He pretends to support you while planning to destroy you; then when you challenge him, he suddenly transforms from supportive to bullying. His soft-spoken manner hides his destructive intentions, his flattering words hide his desire to control you, and his seemingly warm personality hides his take-no-prisoners attitude.
4. Distorts truth and reality – He misleads people by omitting key facts. He’s extremely concerned to preserve an appearance of integrity, all the while withholding significant information. He misleads people by omitting key facts, he quotes hearsay as important and authoritative, then, justifies his opinion by falsely claiming others think the same way.
Master of the half-truth, he miss-states and belittles your viewpoint, asks questions that demean you, then interrupts before you can fully respond, he changes the subject before you can correct his miss-statements, then he adds new false accusations faster than you can respond to the old ones.
5. Hypocritical – His spoken philosophy and behavior don’t match, his words creating a positive image which does not match his actions. He describes his mistakes as minor, but your mistakes as serious, or ignores his own mistakes while always highliting yours. – He calmly demeans you, but is angry because you don’t respect him. Not respecting him = pointing out the inconguities and inconsistencies between who he claims to be and what he actually does and says.
6. Evasive – He acts confused by any complaint about his behavior and always shifts the focus to others. He acts like he is the one who is being victimized. He tries to make you feel guilty for hurting him, accusing you of behavior that was far worse than his and asserting that you are the cause of his bad behavior (if he ever does admit to behaving badly).
7. Pompous – He acts like a know-it-all and never apologizes, unless to prove how rarely he makes a mistake. He’s a prima donna … condescending in words, tone of voice and mannerisms. Every issue which effects him is high drama and he’ll try to demolish the opposition in every discussion to keep the focus on himself.
8. Self-righteous – In order to disguise his corrupt character, he always claims the moral and ethical high ground. He brags about the goodness of his own character while suggesting that others have dubious motives. He frequently talks of his superior ethical standards, implying that others don’t have his high standards and using distorted examples to prove that others are not nearly as superior as he.
9. Obsessed with image – He believes that his image is more important than reality, so he disguises his true emotions and desires. When you see beneath his persona, he will suggest that your actions have hurt his image. Alternatively, he says that your proposed actions (i.e., exposing him) will hurt your own image.
10. Passive-aggressive behaviour: (Anger Expressed Inappropriately)
* Put-downs
* Sarcasm
* Insults
* Rudeness
* Sabotage
* Intimidation
* Belittling Remarks
11. Pretends to care – While pretending to care about others, he is at his most manipulative and dangerous. Most people are taken in by his apparently positive energy, enthusiasm and charisma, but in reality, they are naively being fooled by an attractive personality which hides a morally and ethically corrupt abuser who is coldly and ruthlessly pursuing his own selfish ends.
His expression of affection is tainted with possessiveness and he compliments you only because it serves his purpose. He has a look of concern, but he doesn’t truly respect you.
He pretends to be your friend while tearing you down, destroying your reputation, weakening your position, and exaggerating the importance of your mistakes.
12. Plays the victim – He exaggerates his pain and suffering, trying to make you feel guilty for causing his pain and claiming that you don’t appreciate him.
He becomes angry and indignant when you try to reason with him, then says he is tired of doing all the compromising.
The above list of characteristics describes abusers and gives an awareness of the techniques used by * Chameleons * who may be male or female.
Malignant narcissists are everywhere – in politics, the arts, medicine, Hollywood, teaching, business, law enforcement, the clergy, and the assembly line. The smart ones make great climbers.
The typical brutal dictator, like Nero, Saddam Hussein, Josef Stalin — is or was a malignant narcissist. (They acted out how grand they were by trampling people by the millions.) But so is the typical street con artist, often described by law enforcement officials as the most sadistic of criminals in the art of mental cruelty. Pedophile priests are usually diagnosed as malignant narcissists. Serial bullies, serial adulterers, gold-diggers, love thieves.
Character Assassin is every Narcissist’s middle name.
In fact, all psychopaths are malignant narcissists, but whether all malignant narcissists are psychopaths is still being debated.
As you can see from that list, even those who cross the legal line into physical or sexual violence are getting their kicks mainly out of mental cruelty.
In short, malignant narcissists are predators who hunt easy prey to plunder them in one way or another, mainly for ego gratification. Because they have to feel greater than you, they are competing with you for every bit of it. Any you get, they view as rightly belonging to them. So, they gotta take it away.
Your self respect. Your good name. Your success.
This is the mentality that stands out so glaringly in the BULLY from the gutter, they gotta tear you down off that pedestal — and treat you like dirt — to prove they’re better than you.
That ain’t natural. It ain’t natural to hate innocence. It ain’t natural to attack people who are no threat to you and have done you no harm. It ain’t natural to treat the other members of one’s own species as prey. But psychopaths and malignant narcissists do.
Most of them get their jollies without leaving visible bite marks in their victims. Most never push the envelope of risk-taking to the point of violent crime. Instead they drive lovers, children, employees, schoolmates all the way to suicide through mental cruelty calculated to deliver sadistic emotional and psychological abuse. They cross the line into physical or sexual violence only when they think they can get away with it and when safer forms of treating people like dirt no longer deliver the high they are addicted to.
Whether by choice or not, psychopaths and malignant narcissists are able to do this because they have no human feeling whatsoever for anyone. Except themselves: they have very, very tender feelings for themselves. But none for anyone else, not even their own children. They view human beings as objects, tools, to exploit for their gratification, to perfect that image of theirs that they are so obsessed with.
So, for example, if telling people that you beat your wife makes a malignant narcissist look better than you, he will do so without a second thought or pang of conscience. What’s it to him if that damages you and makes a social outcast of you?
For, like a child of three, he doesn’t relate to other people: he treats you like a screw driver there for him to use or abuse for his sake. He disregards the consequences to you, because he refuses to grow up and know that there is a thinking, feeling person inside other people and that they exist for their own sakes, not his. So your rights and feelings and welfare are no of consideration to him whatsoever. He’ll break you just lightly as he’d stomp an ant.
Never forget that for a moment. Forgetting it is as dangerous as walking into a hungry tiger’s cage forgetting that he is predator.
Narcissists and psychopaths often try to hide this brutal inhumanity and total lack of empathy by mimicking human emotions, often melodramatically. They are extremely sneaky and manipulative, mainly because they’ve been practicing these arts nonstop from about the age of six.
Unless they are so powerful they needn’t hide what they are, they go to great lengths to portray themselves as the very opposite of what they are. They are pathological liars who tell bizarre lies. They often react to things in a bizarre way that makes you pinch yourself. Yet despite these warning signs that there is something wrong with them, and despite the mental maturity level of a little child before the Age of Reason, they almost always pass for normal.
One-to-three in every 20 people you meet are malignant narcissists. If they sucker you into getting too close and then rip your guts out, it isn’t because of anything you did or anything about you they don’t like: it’s just because you were there and vulnerable (unable to defend yourself).
